We're all 'money people,' and long-term thinking is key
Aristotle posited that a good persuasive argument involved three key elements: ethos (ethics), pathos (emotions) and logos (logic). When it comes to convincing people to manage their money, and to society’s peril, we typically get just one argument, “logos,” which usually comes in the form of charts, budgeting tools and action steps. Unfortunately, not everyone is motivated by the technicalities of money.
During many conversations about saving for the future in retirement plans, one of the first things many people will tell me is “I am not a money person.” STOP RIGHT THERE! How do you buy groceries, drive a car, take vacations? Pay bills, buy gifts, pay rent? It’s absurd. If we can agree that we are all money people, then the crux of personal finance is figuring out how the future “us” will do all those things one day when we don’t have jobs — aka retirement.
According to a recent UBS study, 54% of Millennial women have left all long-term financial decision-making to their spouse. The same study found that “98% of widows and divorcees urged other women to participate in long-term decisions early on.”
So, what is the disconnect?
I believe one reason is the “logos” in the world of money. It’s a closed industry, with a hierarchy of status and a jargon of exclusion. Even worse, we might equate money with advanced math. Many financial advisors describe their love of math with their desire to join the profession. But seriously, people, if you are really looking at math experience to equip you for a career in money, just include fourth grade arithmetic on your resume.
Courtney Butler-Robinson, Certified Yoga Therapist C-I.A.Y.T. and author, is standing at the entrance of the money tent, begging you to come in. She has been on both sides of the UBS statistic—uninvolved in money and experiencing the consequences during a first marriage, including debt and ill-funded savings in her 40s. But then, taking control of her own money — and committing to the engagement and partnership of managing money with a future spouse.
She has reaped the rewards of her equal partnership with her husband and money, building wealth in a short time on modest income. But the rewards run deeper than the accumulation of wealth. She wants other women to enter the world of money and adds ethos and pathos to convince.
As a Yoga authority, Courtney describes her grounding in the ethos of money through the moral observances of yoga. Take truthfulness and benevolence. The questions she asks herself are: “Can I honestly afford the next widget I want? Can I still be caring and loving to others if I am maxed out on credit cards and struggle each day to survive?” Or take the instruction of non-stealing and responsibility. Courtney would argue that this means one does not steal from one’s future self to give something to the present self, like taking an expensive vacation you can’t afford, or putting it on a credit card you cannot pay (versus saving in advance of that vacation). We have the responsibility to learn the basics of personal financial management. Sharing the responsibility means that we don’t put too much pressure on one family member to shoulder that burden.
For the pathos, Courtney urges women, “Look around at women 30 and 40 years ahead of you. Are they dependent on their spouses? Do they know what to do if something happens to their spouses?”
To the Gen Zers, she warns, “Many of you will wake up 20 or 30 years from now feeling tired. You will be ready to retire and you will be faced with working many more years. This is a call. Don’t wait. Think of your future self. Look at your mom, your aunt, your grandma and learn from them — they either did it right or didn’t. Learn from them either way. Listen to their wisdom.”
Some people describe a logos conversion experience when they first see a chart of compound interest and save and invest from that moment forward. But for those who find themselves unmoved by the experience, do not be dismayed. As Courtney has taught us, you can find your own path, and it may be more grounded this way. Perhaps your faith illuminates your path. Or maybe your duty and loyalty to family does. Maybe you are motivated to emulate those who did well or to heed the warnings from those who avoided money. Whatever it takes, please realize that you are a money person. We all are. And each of us must involve ourself for the sake of our present and our future.
Source: UBS “Own Your Worth 2020” survey.
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